John: Mark and I have come to you today and it falls to me to share with you a painful tragedy that has befallen the PassionLife Fellowship of staff, volunteers, board members, intercessors, donors, and now with this broader community, something that happened among us a little over a month ago. Since it happened we have been saying with King David what he said during periods of great loss: “I am weary with my moaning. Every night I flood my bed with tears and I drench my couch with weeping.” We have experienced a tremendous loss as a family here. Mark and I had just arrived in China a little over a month ago when we heard the shocking and devastating news that his youngest son, David Nicholson, had passed away. It was shocking and unexpected. It was a little bit overwhelming to think about the practical decisions that we needed to make in order to get Mark back home. What was the best way to do that? And I’m grateful that I got to spend most of that traumatic, horrible day with Mark as his friend and co-worker, praying with him, talking over a little bit about the life of David, seeing some of his pictures, pulling out from scriptures the ones about weeping and rejoicing, that we have a faith that allows for great moments of lamentation. We have a whole book called Lamentations after all. And then giving Mark our blessing to go home and tend to his family and friends. So this was a pretty big blow for all of us. Mark, it’s been a little over a month since this happened and I know that you and Dana have shed a lot of tears. I guess I just want to take time now on behalf of the entire and larger PassionLife Fellowship to once again express our sadness for you, to grieve with you again, to let you share with us a little bit about what you’re going through and how we can serve you at this time.

Mark: I thank you for that and I try these days not to come up with any pre-packaged answers for what we’re going through or how we’re doing or how we’re responding to these things. I try as much as possible to have an honest answer for the moment. I think what I’d probably come to more frequently than anything is I’m not exactly sure yet how we’re doing. I think that’s probably normal. Yes, we miss our son. He was a beautiful young man, 21 years old and full of vitality. A lot of promise and a lot of good years ahead of him that had been cut short tragically now. But we are grateful for 21 years and this is something that’s just recent for me. He’s been gone about a month and I’m just recently becoming so grateful for the 21 years that I had with him. We have a link to his obituary here so if you’re interested in reading a little bit about his life and what kind of fellow he was, you can do so. I won’t take the time to describe him other than to say he was a fine young man. Greatly afflicted in many ways and a lot of shortcomings like his old man. But he had his faith in Jesus Christ and that is a comfort that we have now. It’s something that we have come to really understand through his prayer journal that he left behind. I’m not sure he meant for us to find it, but we did. Finding his prayer journal has been really comforting and helps us understand what his state of mind was when he left this world. I share with you a couple of things that we have found. This was from January of this present year (2024) while at La Bree?? in Switzerland. One of his prayers that he wrote was this:, “Jesus is with us in our suffering which makes Him an even better equipped leader as we fight spiritual battles from day to day. He knows what it’s like to be small, helpless, and hopeless. He is ever urging us forward and provides a perfect example of what it means to be a good soldier. God, I thank you for the opportunity to fight. Show me how to submit to your authority in heart and in mind. Teach me humility through the example of a meek man dying in humiliation on a cross for the sake of others. Make me a washer of feet. Help me to overcome the urge to wash my own filth before stooping to serve others. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Show me how to serve others and help me to remove the log in my own eye.” Skipping down a bit he says: “help me to fight temptation. Help me to learn forgiveness. Arm me to fight battles that rage in my head. Give me the comfort of your truth. I want to follow you. Help me lay down my idols and run freely on your path. Cast out doubt and pride. Rebuke lies, unchain my heavy heart. Jesus, you are my hope,” he says. These words are of great comfort to us, John, as we look back on the life of a young man we’re going to miss dearly and we’re trying to figure out exactly how to live without him.

John: So this may strike some of you who are reading this as shocking. You may not have heard from others who have known for a while and have been joining us in prayer. I guess I’ve come to realize more and more that so much of our grief is allowed and is part of God’s grace in our life. At the same time it’s tethered to the hope of the Gospel that our Savior Himself is described as a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. That gives me a great sense of divine sympathy. He is sympathetic to us in a time like this and is familiar with lamentation and a sense of loss beyond words. Our steadfast prayer has been that the Holy Spirit would indeed tether our grief to the hope of the Gospel and it just seems that in the month that we’ve been working through this we’ve seen again and again God’s favor that we can be both rejoicing and grieving and grieving and rejoicing at the same time because of the complexity of our emotions. So I just want to share with everybody a couple of verses that have sustained Mark, Dana and me and I’ve shared this with our team. Psalm 119: “my soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your Word.” That’s a great prayer– the sorrow is great but you can strengthen me according to your Word. Another one Psalm 31: “Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; my eye is wasted in grief.” I know that there have been times where I wept and my eyes hurt and I’m sure that you, Mark, have experienced some of that and continue to do that. So this is where we are as a ministry right now. We’ve shared with you great victories, we share with you setbacks and this is us sharing with you one of the tragedies that has befallen us. Mark will be working from home for a while because work is also part of helping with grief for sure. But he’s going to take a break for at least another month so that he can listen to the Lord and serve his family in the particular way that he needs to right now. He won’t be traveling overseas but he’s still here and part of our team. We’re just going to trust God that Mark and Dana are going to be able to find the grace of God to endure such an unspeakable loss and be strengthened by His grace. Mark, anything else you want to share with us at this point?

Mark: Yes, I do. I want to say thank you to those of you in the PassionLife community and the Fellowship who have reached out to us and have been so kind. The kindness of God’s people has been sustaining us in unkind days these last couple of weeks. It’s a great comfort to know that there are those of you who have lost sons and daughters and that we’re not alone in that. It’s a comfort to know that there are those who have lost people who are dear to them, who have struggled with great depression and great afflictions in their lives and to realize that because of the Gospel there is still hope. And to think of my son in the arms of the Savior and worshiping in complete freedom from all of his struggles is a great comfort to me. Also to think of the people who will be the welcoming committee, the people who’ve gone ahead of him, like my friend Tripp Kimbrough, my David’s grandfather and my wife’s father Andy Rettick, and people from our community who loved David like Mertie Davis, people who will be happy to throw their arms around him in greetings and welcome and teach him how to worship for eternity well. As you reference, John, the Word has been very kind to us. The Word of God is very sweet and only in the Gospel do we find things that seem to be so opposite from one another, coexisting and making sense. I go back a lot to second Corinthians, chapter 4 where Paul is talking about his own sufferings in the Gospel which is not exactly what we’re experiencing but because of the Gospel it is possible to be afflicted but not crushed. It’s possible to be perplexed and yet not driven to despair. It is possible to be struck down and not be destroyed. We’re thankful for all of you who have reached out to us with words and condolences. We have a long way to go so be patient with us.

John: As it says in the same text: sorrowful yet always rejoicing–these are testimonies of the grace of God in our life. Mark, I would say that the number one response from people is that there are just no words, there’s certain things that are just painful. But you and your family are well loved and it’s an honor to go through such a dark valley with you. I say that on behalf of our team, our board, our donors and the people who’ve just gotten to know you through your videos, we’re going to weep with you during this season of weeping and we’re going to rejoice with you as God refreshes you, restores you and calls you forward in His great work. So thank you and thank all of you who have shared this burden with us. But we just want to give God glory for walking us through this tragedy together and we invite you to do so along with us. Thank you.

Obituary link: https://www.hayworth-miller.com/obituaries/david-nicholson